Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts

Sunday, 5 April 2015

Vienna-Bratislava or how I ended up undocumented for a day

Sitting with Miro in the University of Vienna
Now this is another one of my travel accounts, or rather about a specific part of my trip to Vienna and Bratislava. I don't want in any way to compare my short experience of losing my documents in a foreign country to the actual difficulties of the millions of undocumented migrants in the world, but I just thought it would be fun to frame it like this. This story, like some of my other stories, has important conclusions (well for me anyway), so keep reading :) 

So at the end of September 2008 my friend Miro invited me to join him for a short trip to Vienna. We were going to fly with a low-cost airline on Wednesday evening and return to Sofia on Monday morning around 8 am in order to go to work. The plane ticket for the return journey was something like 30 Euros, including luggage and we were going to couchsurf in Vienna. The whole trip was supposed to cost us not more than 150 Euros, food, transport and souvenirs included, which, considering our Bulgarian salaries, was a great deal! This was my first ever going abroad for a fun long weekend and I was super excited.


Schönbrun Palace
Our couchsurfing host in Vienna was great and left the next day for the Oktoberfest in Munich, so we were alone in her apartment in the city centre. In the next three days we walked around in Vienna like crazy, went to the Schönbrun palace, the Freud museum, Belvedere, gay bars and discos, the Prater and what not. We had a great time and I loved Vienna. On Sunday, our last day, we decided to go for a day to Bratislava (or as it advertised itself - Bratislover:) - it was one hour and ten Euros away by train. We were supposed to come back in the evening and leave for Sofia the next morning. "Supposed to" being the operative word here. 

We arrived at Petrzalka station in Bratislava around 10-11 am and headed towards the city centre. Not even ten minutes down the road, however, I realised that I don't have anymore my wallet with me - along with my credit and debit cards, my last 20 Euros and my ID card. Now I should mention that part of the fun of being recently accepted in the EU was the ability to travel abroad with our ID cards and not passports, so out of principle I hadn't taken my passport with me. And so I found myself undocumented in a foreign country. Luckily, Miro was always more ... composed and experienced in strange situations than me, so he dragged my sorry panicking ass back to the train station and we found a police station there. The plan was to report that I've lost my ID card and ... well take it from there and see where it goes. But reporting a problem at a police station at a train station in Bratislava on Sunday turned out to be a challenge. We tried to speak English to the first police officer we saw, who then started fretting and going around every possible room to find someone who actually speaks English. After about half an hour of sitting and waiting, I started losing my patience, went to the police officer and explained in what can only be described as a "Slavic language" (so no particular language) that maybe if we use Russian, Bulgarian, Slovakian and hand gestures, we would understand each other. So using such (para-)linguistic mediums, I explained that I've lost my wallet with my ID card. He kept suggesting that it was probably stolen and finally I agreed, considering that you don't pay a fine for a stolen ID card but you do, when you lose it... He gave me a paper stating that I've reported this to the police and told me to go to the Bulgarian consulate, where they can help me. We found a map from a travel agency at the station and headed there. 
Miserable in the centre of Bratislava

I'm not sure what exactly I was expecting from the Bulgarian consulate - I think I had seen too many Hollywood movies where the American hero runs towards the embassy chased by hundreds of baddies shooting at him/her, the embassy opens the gates and he/she then receives care, nourishment and a helicopter to take him/her back home the next day. The harsh reality was that the consulate guard came to the gates and after hearing my story said "I'm sorry but I can't help you, it's Sunday, the consul isn't here, she'll be back tomorrow, so come back at 9 am". So this was a bit of a disappointment but ... better than nothing. Miro and I went to the centre, called the banks to cancel my credit and debit cards, sat on a bench and made a plan - we'd walk around to see Bratislava, he'd give me 100 Euro and go back to Vienna to catch his flight the next day and I would find a hostel to spend the night and go to the consulate in the morning, get a temporary identity document (like those I knew they issue to victims of human trafficking) and take a bus back to Bulgaria. 


Sucker for statues
Now that there was a plan I could finally relax a little (yeah I'm one of those people). Bratislava is a small city, which can be described as "cute". It has a little Czech, Austrian and German spirit but also its own post-communist, recently-EU face. In the early evening Miro took the train back to Vienna and I found a little hostel to spend the night. Then I went to an internet café to check what buses to Sofia there were on the next day and to inform my colleagues at Animus about my predicament and that I won't be able to come to work as planned. I told them that I'd go to the consulate in the morning and hope to travel in the afternoon and be back at work on Tuesday. I checked in my hostel and went for a drink in a gay bar called Apollon. I had a couple of beers and chatted with some guys there and then went to check out a club/disco also called Apollon. To my surprise, a little person opened the door of the club and told me they were having a naked party and I had to undress in order to get in. Or I could stay in my underwear but pay 200 crowns (about 7 Euro) entrance fee. Being around naked Slovakian guys would sound tempting on any day, but not on that day when I was still worried about my predicament and with very little money left. So I went back to my hostel, had another beer, socialised a little with other hostel visitors and went to bed. 


At 9 am the next morning I was in front of the Bulgarian consulate. I went in and just as I was explaining my situation to the consul and trying to figure out what to do next, an employee came in and said someone called to say they found my wallet and will bring it to the consulate around 11. What a stroke of luck! I was super relieved and went back to the city centre to take some more pictures, explore some more and kill two hours. I came back at 11, took my wallet with all my things still inside but soon it dawned on me I had another problem now. The bus I was planning to take in the afternoon passes through Serbia where I couldn't enter with my ID card at the time - I needed a passport. The consul confirmed this and said I could take a bus on Wednesday, which passes through Romania, so I wouldn't need a passport. "But what am I supposed to do until Wednesday, I don't have enough money?", I asked. She said now that I had an ID card, I could call Bulgaria and ask someone to send me money via Western Union. I could use the embassy telephone to make a call, she offered. A PHONE CALL? Not a helicopter, not a bed and a warm meal - a measly phone call! Aaargh cruel fate, why was I born in this country!?! I told them I'd be fine without their phone call and went off to find other ways to get home. 

By now the only way of getting back home seemed to be a flight from Vienna for 180 Euros - three time what we had paid for our return flight! But since my credit card was cancelled I couldn't even pay for it myself, so I had to text Miro again for help. Miro had lost his own credit card a week earlier but found a friend who could buy my ticket. Finally there was a plan again! I took the train back to Vienna, spent the night at the airport and returned around 8.30 am in Sofia, so happy to be back, unlike all other Bulgarian travellers. Needless to say, after all this, I wasn't a big Bratislover! 

Epilogue 
I thought it was worth mentioning how my wallet actually found me. When my colleagues from Animus went to the office on Monday, they saw my email about being stuck without documents in Bratislava and then they saw this email from a certain Zdenek from Bratislava. 
With their long experience in coordinating the return of victims of trafficking, my colleagues immediately called him and told him to take my passport to the Bulgarian consulate. Then they called the consulate to inform them to expect Zdenek. Once back home, of course I sent a thank you e-mail to him too. 

And finally, the promised conclusions and lessons learnt. First and most importantly, I now always travel with as many identity documents as possible, and of course, I keep them in separate places. Second, I never choose the cheapest vacation options, out of fear that, like Vienna-Bratislava, it would end up costing me dearly (in the end, it cost me an additional 280 Euros!). If I book a cheap flight, I try to book a not-that-cheap hotel. If both are cheap, I just splurge on other things - insurance, food, taxi, drinks, whatever - to appease the gods of travelling abroad. Third, I always keep a business card of my work place in my wallet - the business card of Animus, which was in my wallet for no particular reason, had saved me. Lastly, if in trouble, I would try to rely first on my friends and then, if absolutely necessary, on the Bulgarian missions abroad. 

Saturday, 21 February 2015

Poland - Krakow and Warsaw


This is an account of my trip to Poland - Krakow and Warsaw - in 2011 and contains a couple of important conclusions (naah, not really!)   

Autumn colours in Poland

In November 2011 we had a work meeting in Warsaw and I decided to take a few additional days to combine it with a private trip -  a weekend in Krakow and then travel back to Warsaw on Monday for the meeting. I left Amsterdam nervous and in a bad mood - these work meetings were always a bit annoying, I didn't know if Polish people speak English, if it's clear how to get around, if there are signs in English... And I hate airports and I was further annoyed at Schiphol from all the crowds, lines, waiting... But as soon as I landed at Warsaw Chopin airport, my annoyance started subsiding. It quickly became clear where to take the bus to the train station and how to buy a ticket. One thing that made my whole stay especially amusing was the Polish language - as a Slavic language it's both close enough to my native Bulgarian to be able to understand certain words and at the same time distant enough to not be able to understand it correctly.. One of the first bus stops after the airport was called "Zwirki i Wiguri" and I had to laugh because in Bulgarian this sounds like "Blowjobs and shapes". The idea that there is such a place/street in Warsaw was funny. Then I noticed the date written on the display in the bus - it was 4 listopad (November). I knew that most Slavic languages use Slavic names for the months of the year, but in Bulgarian we use the Latin names and to me listopad (which literally means "leaf fall") was a natural phenomenon, not a month and I had to laugh again. At the train station there were machines for buying train tickets (unlike in Bulgaria) with menus in English, so this part went well too. I boarded the train to Krakow, which was a bit dirty and full and I had to stay in the corridor for four hours but I just played some music on my phone and watched the nature outside. Outside was sunny and the listopad colours of the Polish landscape were captivating. I'm normally not a romantic person who even notices autumn but for some reason I couldn't get enough of the combination of yellow, red and green that I was seeing outside. 

Krakow
And so the four hours went by quickly. I arrived in Krakow and headed for the main square. I was going to stay with someone from Couchsurf - Robert - and we had agreed to meet there. It was around 5pm and getting dark and cold and Robert was running late but I was enjoying the main square. It seemed very aristocratic, well maintained and extremely cute. I thought that normally, after the crowds and the waiting at Schiphol, the four-hour train travel in the corridor and waiting for someone for two hours in the cold I would've been on the verge of a nervous breakdown and yet I was feeling completely calm and happy. So unexpected! 

Robert finally arrived and we headed off to his place. He was around my age, small and skinny, talking very fast, and gay (well, I found him in a gay group on Couchsurf). He told me he had been to Bulgaria and actually his first boyfriend was Bulgarian - a certain Danny. In the course of the conversation, he mentioned a few other things about Danny, like where he was born and what he was studying and ... it turned out I knew him too. Not only did I know Danny, he had been my boyfriend too, and in the same year, no less! [[There's a word in Bulgarian - badjanak - which in principle means "brother-in-law" but specifically the relationship between the husbands of two sisters. In slang it's used for two men who've slept with the same woman and, of course, in the gay world - two men who've slept with the same man]]. Now what are the odds that I'll go to Krakow, Poland, and the first guy a meet is my "badjanak"? I couldn't help but wonder, was the world really so small or was I really so ... experienced (let's say)? Perhaps a little of both but this coincidence continues to amuse me to this day. 


A monument of Joan Paula II ... 
I didn't do much touristy stuff in Krakow - I didn't go to Auschwitz or the Schindler factory - this is not for me. Instead I mostly just walked around, enjoying the unusually warm autumn days and laughing at the Polish language. Pope John Paul II, whose name in Polish is Jan Pawel, lived in Krakow and there were different places named after him - boulevards, squares... But when you decline his name in the genitive case (as in "boulevard of John Paul") it becomes Jana Pawla, which in Bulgarian would be a woman's name - like Joan Paula in English. In my silliness I imagined his gay buddies from the seminary calling him that :D In the interest of brevity, I'll just say that Krakow is a beautiful city and you should go see it for yourselves! 

Warsaw 
On Monday I took the train back to Warsaw for our meeting. Warsaw reminded me a bit of Sofia (Bulgaria) - mostly dirty, noisy, chaotic and crowded. But a bit worse - since it had been largely destroyed during Word War II and then "rebuilt" by the communists, in the city centre you could see one next to  the other classical buildings, Stalinist buildings, modern glass business buildings and shopping malls and 20-storey ugly communist blocks of flats - a real insult to the senses! Nevertheless, Warsaw is worth visiting too - this is where the democratic changes in Eastern Europe began with Solidarność, there were also monuments of Copernicus, Marie Curie, again Joan Paula II and the very cute old town (photo above). So on Friday, after our meeting had ended, my colleague and I, together with a colleague from the OSCE ODIHR - Astrid - decided to take a walk around and spent most of our time in the old town. My flight was on the next day because I wanted to spend one more day in Warsaw, which was the national holiday - Independence Day (11 November) - and stay again with a guy from Couchsurf - Pawel. My colleague eventually left for the airport and Astrid and I continued our walk through the city. I was supposed to meet with my Couchsurf host around 6 pm near Constitution square and we headed in that direction. Now I don't know why I was thinking it may be interesting to stay for Poland's national holiday - maybe I was expecting something like the Dutch national holiday in Amsterdam - a sea of people dressed in orange, drinking beer and partying. I was so naïve! 


It turned out there was a nationalistic march planned, precisely on and around Constitution square and, to make things worse, also an anarchistic counter-march to protest against the nationalists. Nothing good can come out of this and soon Astrid and I found ourselves in a horrifying place - there were nationalists dressed in black running around breaking car glasses and shop windows and riot police clashing with them and arresting them... This photo shows part of what was happening on that day and I had to wonder if I would get beaten up by Polish nationalists for no reason.. Eventually Astrid and I found shelter in a nearby café and waited there for my host to come and pick me up. 

Pawel, who presented himself as Paul, finally came. We walked to his car and then drove to his house, which was on the outskirts of Warsaw. Pawel was in his early twenties, also gay, very sexy and well groomed but it quickly became clear that we didn't really have much in common and had nothing to say to each other. Back at his place he mostly watched TV reports of the nationalist march and clashes with the police, which seemed almost like Poland was in a civil war. I was playing with my iPad and waiting for time to pass by. A couple of hours later Pawel went to a party with his boyfriend but told me that his brother and his brother's girlfriend are sleeping in the house and will probably wake up soon. And I'm glad they did. Pawel and his brother were fraternal twins and his brother's name was ... surprise surprise - Piotr (or Peter, in English - it figures in Catholic Poland). Piotr was straight and not as sexy and well groomed as Pawel, but actually much more interesting and chatty. When I told him I live in Amsterdam, he immediately took out some weed and we spent the evening smoking, chatting and laughing. I made a mental note to myself: the sexy gay twin is not necessarily more interesting than the not-so-sexy straight twin! 

On the next morning, I took a cab to the airport and returned to Amsterdam. 

All my photos from Poland can be seen on Facebook.

Sunday, 18 May 2014

Tuscany, part 2 - Florence

This is part 2 of the account of my short visit to Tuscany - Arezzo and Florence, see part 1 (only in Bulgarian for now). 


Part 2 - Florence/Firenze 

I arrived at Florence Santa Maria Novella station on Wednesday around 11 am, by train, which this time took only about an hour. My hotel was close to the station but I could only check in from 1 pm, so I headed off for a walk, a lunch and sightseeing. About ten minutes later I was at the Florence Cathedral or Il Duomo. The Duomo is ridiculously, indecently big and besieged by tourists on all sides. I know that good Catholics need to feel small, insignificant and unworthy inside and around their Heavenly Father's homes, but it almost seemed like the Heavenly Father himself would feel small and insignificant in the face of the Duomo. 

The front side (perhaps the other sides too) is ornamented with, among others, dozens of statues of stern, strict, condescending, angry-looking priests, cardinals, popes, saints, I don't know whats, who were looking down on me, as if saying things like "you are a sinner-eh", "you need-eh to repent-eh", "you'll burn-eh in hell-eh" (I'm trying to imitate the way Italians sound when they speak English:-). After ten minutes of contemplating this impossibly strict but just grandeur, and trying to figure out how to take a photo of it, I decided to move along and see what awaits me next. I had read about Florence on Wikipedia and knew I wanted to see the statue of David, the Fountain of Neptune, the Palace of the Medici, something with Machiavelli (a statue, a grave, I don't know), the Ponte Vecchio, but had no idea where they were. Google maps could tell me which piazza is where but not what's on it, so I was ready to be surprised. And I was. Following the hordes of people and looking up, down and sideways with a curious look, like a real tourist, I suddenly found myself on the Piazza della Signoria. Wikipedia claimed it was one of the most beautiful squares in the world. And beautiful it was - if you could only make the tourists disappear for a while. Well, the piazza itself was not so impressive as the statues in it - a world of difference from the nasty, judgemental Christian faces on the Cathedral. These were beautiful, athletic, naked, defiant ancient gods and heroes, fighting evil, conquering enemies and slaying creatures. The most prominent ones that I could recognise were, of course, Neptune, David, Hercules and Perseus. 

The women, on the other hand, usually had their private parts covered (Jupiter forbid we should see a cunt), sometimes missing limbs, doing nothing, sometimes getting raped or being abducted as brides... My feminist feelings were a bit hurt but my aesthetic ones - filled with joy from the male statues! Apart from the strong, muscular bodies, though, there was also a large body of tourists, in groups, in couples and trios, or alone like me, which were driving me crazy. I mean, you can't even take a proper photo of anything without dozens of unknown people in it. As Carrie Bradshaw says, "I couldn't help but wonder", if the world's wealth was more equally distributed, as I usually wish, how many people would there be on Piazza della Signoria, or for that matter, on Damrak or the London Eye, etc. etc. Whenever I visit a popular tourist destination, should I be happy that there are hundreds of millions of people living in poverty who are not able to travel to these places? (And I'm blushing with shame at the moment!) So, despite the naked men and annoyed with the crowds, I decided to move on.
With Dante on my shoulder

Looking so Machiavellian! :)

A few metres away was the Uffizi Gallery. I didn't go inside the gallery itself, I believe that art is, unfortunately, largely wasted on me, but I love statues. And here I found the third "set" of statues in Florence - after the ugly, angry Christians and the mouth-watering ancient heroes, these were the artists, scientists, poets and statesmen of Florence (and Italy?). Starting with what I learned was called "the big three" - Dante, Boccaccio and Petrarch - these men (yes, again, only men) were looking proud, dignified and confident. And rightfully so - all of them have made great contributions to literature, art and science. There were a few names that I didn't recognise but among those that I did were Leonardo da Vinci, Donatello, Galileo, Machiavelli, Amerigo Vespucci... Passing by the last one, I heard someone explaining to a couple of American tourists "He's the one that discovered America - you see - Amerigo - America"... Oh by Jove! So few things more annoying when you travel than to meet American tourists "doing Europe" in a week. At one point I was, like, how many times can you, like, say "like" in, like, one sentence ... and stuff? Like-ing aside and, of course, Columbus is more known for discovering America, but come on, people... Go to school! 


From Uffizi, I headed to Ponte Vecchio - the Old Bridge. When the Allied Forces were advancing on Italy at the end of WWII, the Germans destroyed all bridges on the Arno river in Florence but someone somehow convinced them not to blow up Ponte Vecchio because of its historical value. While taking photos of the bridge from a few hundred metres away, finally something happened that I had been expecting for three days - I felt the spontaneous smell of baked bread, tomatoes, olive oil and garlic, coming as if from nowhere. In Belgium you can spontaneously smell Belgian waffles and chocolate, in Germany - baked wurst and in Amsterdam - weed, so I was hoping that in the same way Italy would smell like tomatoes, garlic and basil... Anyway, I started sniffing and turning around frantically, as if I had smelled ... success or something, until I noticed the people sunbathing and barbecuing (well, obviously an Italian version of barbecuing) on the river banks below. Mmmm yummy! But then I had to move along and find something to eat. The Old Bridge is now filled with small booths selling all sorts of stupid stuff and, of course, tourists. I crossed it quickly and sat down to eat the most expensive and dry panini with prosciutto and mozzarella in my life. But these things happen when you're a stupid tourist and actually worse things have happened to me, so I decided not to be annoyed for more than 20 minutes and proceeded to Palazzo Pitti - the Palace of the Medici. The Medici were the most powerful family in Florence for centuries and apparently supported the arts, sciences and trade but I somehow associate them with greediness, cruelty, scheming, murders and poisoning. I was even prepared to pay 10 Euros entrance fee for the Boboli Gardens and the Palace but the lady at the ticket desk didn't have a 10 to return from my 20-Euro note... And didn't accept anything but cash. I stuck around for a while but after a few minutes she still didn't have a 10-Euro note, so I decided to try again tomorrow and went to find my hotel. 

My hotel was not really a hotel but a "pension" and I was welcomed there by a strange person - a skinny 50-or-so-year-old either a woman with a prominent grey moustache or a man with a very feminine voice (being in Italy, I assumed the first). She didn't speak much English but showed me to my room and asked "you - fumare?" and showed me the balcony where I could fumare (smoke). The room and the fact that I had a balcony were great; the only downside was that there was one toilet for the whole floor. Still, the price was 45 Euros and I didn't go to Florence to sit in my hotel, so this was just a minor inconvenience. 

After resting for an hour or two, I went out again, this time to check Florentine fashion shops and weep. Florence is among the top 50 "fashion capitals of the world" and I wanted to see what this means. Well, as anyone can imagine, it meant looking at fancy label shops and their fancy windows and wondering if I would be even allowed to enter, in my shorts, T-shirt and sneakers. I was travelling with hand luggage only, otherwise I would've bought myself a hundred things (yeah, right, as if I can afford it:-) After a consolation prize of coffee and gelatto, I returned to one of the most dick-populated squares in the world - Piazza della Signoria. It was already around 5-6 pm and this time there were far fewer tourists on the square. Without them, I could enjoy the art immensely more. (I also couldn't help thinking of South Park - "one wiener next to another wiener... floppy wiener, wiener party..." :-).

Seriously though, floppy wieners and kinky associations aside, I was captivated by the sculptures, the details, the curves, the proportions, the stories they were telling - David before the battle with Goliath, Hercules defeating Cacus, Perseus with the head of the Gorgon Medusa, Menelaus holding Patroclus... Maybe, after all, art was not so wasted on me? I spent probably an hour staring at David, Neptune, Hercules, and all the other heroes, gods and monsters, this time closely and looking at every detail. I thought I had read somewhere that David has the perfect proportions and is taught in Sculpture classes as the perfectly shaped male body. Maybe that's why I was so fascinated - supposedly we're attracted to body and face proportions and, well, who wouldn't be attracted to a body/face with the perfect ones? And the statue of Hercules and Cacus, which, like I said, brought on some kinky associations and I took probably ten photos of it ;-) 

I went back to my hotel for a bit, then out again for dinner and hopefully to find a gay bar to have a couple of drinks. I had a lovely foccaccia for only 5 Euros but the only gay bar, which was not a cruising bar, was apparently closed at 9 pm. Aaargh, I hate that gays are such vampires - I can kind of understand that a gay bar doesn't work at 2 pm but why not at 9 pm? Does nobody like going out for a couple of drinks before midnight? So I went back to see Piazza della Signoria after dark when there were even fewer tourists, sat there again for half an hour and went back to my hotel. A step-measuring app that I had once installed on my phone and forgotten about, suddenly popped up saying I had walked 22 000 steps that day, which was my record. I calculated this should be around 11-13 kilometres and felt good about myself :) 

On the next day, my flight was around 5 pm, and I had to check out of my hotel at 10. So I had decided to spend most of my time in the Boboli Gardens and Palazzo Pitti. As if determined to spite me, the woman at the ticket desk again didn't have a 10-Euro note to return from my 20. Normally I would get really annoyed and just leave, but now I decided to be stubborn, so I went and bought a coffee and water and finally had the right banknote to buy a ticket to the gardens and palace. And I'm glad I did.

The gardens were relatively big, with small alleys among the bushes and trees that made me think of a labyrinth and wonder if a Minotaur would jump out of somewhere.. Well, they were also well lit and there were people around (not as many as in the centre, thank Juno!), so there was no real danger.. But there was an obese American tourist complaining about all the stairs and climbing - apparently the stairs were more dangerous to people's health.. 
I think I walked through most of the garden for the fun of it and for a futile attempt to take a panoramic photo of Florence (since I had recently discovered that my phone can take these). I didn't find a good spot, so without a panoramic photo, I decided to go inside the Palace, where I was mainly curious about the exhibition "Hats - between art and Extravaganza". 
The exhibition was part of the "Costume gallery" of the Palace, so I was lucky to see not only artsy and extravagant hats but also costumes from the 15th century to nowadays. Unfortunately, as in most museums, you can't really take photos of everything you want, you have to do it sneakily. So these are not the most extravagant hats - there were also some with birds, others with flowers, nets... I passed probably 20 rooms or so (as part of the exhibitions) and this was only a small part of the palace. "I couldn't help but wonder", who needs so many rooms and what the hell did the Medici do in them? If I were a royalty or from a powerful ruling family, would I have such a shamelessly huge palace? Definitely YESSS! Of course, the walls and ceilings of the rooms were heavily decorated with ornaments and paintings. One particular ceiling caught my eye (and damn it, I couldn't take a photo and now I can't even find it on the internet O_o) and I fantasised a little story around it. It depicted a 25-30-year-old handsome, athletic Greek/Roman soldier (with the tunic and sandals) being outed as gay in front of his family by the poet. The poet had a harp and the look of a person betraying someone else for the fun of it. The soldier was looking down, with his head in his hand. The sisters were looking at him with amusement, slightly snickering or gossiping, while their husbands and the father were giving him a judgemental, disapproving look. The actual story is probably entirely different, but seriously, these were the looks and postures of most of the people in the painting. And my version is so much more interesting and current around the International Day against Homophobia, which is the day I'm writing this post :-) 

Even though I still had plenty of time, I decided to have one last pizza, a last visit to the famous Italians, the naked guys on the square and the judgemental Christians on the Duomo and head back to the station to take my bus to the airport. 

Some final "general" thoughts on Italy 
Like in every southern-European country, you can enjoy nice weather (I even got a little tanned from my three days there), great food and open, chatty and loud people (provided you can speak the same language), but the streets and the building, seem a little ... unmaintained. You can notice that the country or city is not as organised as, say, Amsterdam or Brussels, where you don't see buildings with smoked or falling façades. Everywhere I've been in Italy, there are very narrow streets with very narrow sidewalks, sometimes just one sidewalk and all the houses have shutters (which is kind of cute and definitely handy in the summer). If, like me, you like drinking 2-3 coffees in the morning and have at least two cigarettes with each, be sure to order "caffé Americano", otherwise you'll get about a spit of very strong espresso, which means you'll gulp it in one go and have no time for a cigarette. Well, at least my head started spinning after two espressos and half an Americano. 
In Italian all words end in vowels and the stressed vowel is always long, that's why they speak English so funnily - "do you waant-eh miilk-eh?" 

Alora, arrivederci and andiamo!

Most of my photos from Italy are available on my Facebook. 

Friday, 16 May 2014

Tuscany, part 1 - Arezzo

Интродуционе
Всеки път когато пътувам някъде си мисля как трябва да си водя записки, или след това да си опиша спомените и ... никога не го правя. А времето си минава, спомените избледняват или се изкривяват и ми става криво и на мен за това, че не съм записал нищо. Но - по-добре късно, отколкото никога. И това е първият ми пътепис - за разходката до Арецо и Флоренция. 

Организацията, в която работя, беше поканена в Арецо, провинция Тоскана, Италия, на конференция за трафика на хора. Конференцията е 4-5 часа, на съвсем местно ниво, със световно неизвестни организации от региона и колежките ми бяха твърде заети, за да й обърнат внимание. Единствените други външни гости на конференцията бяха Паола от германската организация Hydra, и Даниела Данна, професор по социология в Университета в Милано. И двете познавах само като име от света на анти-трафика и проституцията. Тъй като от Ла Страда се изискваше само да направим една 20-минутна доста обща презентация за това кои сме и как работим, аз изявих желание да отида. Мога да говоря общи приказки за организацията и 40 минути, ако трябва, а в Тоскана не съм бил никога, особено пък без да плащам самолетен билет и две нощувки в хотел :-) Шефката ми се съгласи, а организаторите бяха ужасно доволни, че някой от Ла Страда ще ги удостои с присъствието си. Тъй като ми взеха билет до Флоренция, аз поисках да остана един ден повече, за да разгледам, на свои разноски, разбира се. 

Във конски вагон... 
И така, пристигнах във Флоренция в понеделник следобед, леко притеснен - знае се, че италианците не говорят много английски, а аз отдавна не съм нито слушал, нито опитвал да говоря на френски, за да успея поне нещичко да измисля как може би се казва на италиански. И както обикновено ми се случва когато трябва да кажа нещо на език, който не говоря, започнах да бълвам прости думи на холандски - ja вместо si, een вместо uno, dank je wel вместо grazie. Това водеше до фрази от сорта на een caffe americano, por favor. Качих се на бавния пътнически влак от Флоренция до Арецо (който щеше да спира през около пет минути на всяко село и паланка и да отнеме час и половина) само умерено подразнен, тъй като очаквах да гледам тосканските пейзажи през иначе удобния влак, а и бях решил да чета новозакупената книга на Maggie McNeill "Ladies of the Night". Маги е бивша проститутка и пише блог за проституция, сексуалност и собствени преживявания, който често чета и много харесвам. Постовете й са много аналитични, остроумни, откровени и на места политически, и като че ли очаквах и книгата да е такава, макар че е fiction. Представях си как на фона на тосканските пейзажи ще чета истории за проститутки и ще си мисля за изискани италиански дами на нощта, които ядат тирамису преди работа. (Лирично отклонение - още отдавна бях чел в уикипедия, че тирамису означава нещо като "вдигни ме", заради многото какао и кафе в тортата и че италианските секс работнички я хапвали, за да могат да стоят будни, свежи и в настроение по цяла нощ). Не знам и аз как точно си представях тосканските пейзажи - може би безкрайни полета от маслини, домати, грозде, босилек и прошуто - но тосканският пейзаж от влака упорито приличаше на този между Враца и Лом... Хълмчета, горички, малки неподдържани селца (на които спирахме през пет минути) и много храсти около релсите, които да пречат на и без това невпечатляващата гледка. Все пак - ХЪЛМОВЕ - такива неща не бях виждал от почти една година, та беше приятно да си ги припомня. Първият разказ, който зачетох, пък изобщо не беше свързан с проститутка, а през повечето време героинята сънуваше много, много странен сън. Все пак, разказ за много, много странен сън е също доста, доста интересен. С други думи, пътуването с влака се оказа различно от очакванията ми, но и много приятно. 

Граппа, кианти, панцанелла и много много месо
Пристигнах в Арецо и се настаних в хотела си. Като влязох в стаята, почти прихнах да се хиля - луксозна та кичозна - два тежки фотьойла, три тежки картини със златисти рамки, тежки пердета, розов полилей, банята и тя в сходен стил... Не можах да не направя няколко снимки и да си представя, че съм я Медичи, я проститутка на Медичи :-) Организаторите (Провинция Арецо) ми бяха оставили бележка да се насладя на тосканската кухня като техен гост в еди-кой си ресторант. В еди-кой си ресторант, на виа еди-коя си, пристигнах около 8 часа, казах буона сера и дадох писмото от общината. Бързо разбрах, че никой не говори английски там, но се разбрахме лесно, че искам вода "но гас" и една малка граппа. От там насетне всичко протичаше без моя контрол и знание - не ми донесоха меню, а вино (Chianti, разбира се), след известно време плато антипасти (с брускети, панцанела, прошуто и салами), след още известно време талиатели с кайма. Самичък на маса, без никаква представа дали ще идват още ястия, какви и кога, и без да мога да питам някого, седях, пиех си виното, блеех си в телефона, излизах да пуша и размишлявах как би се чувствал някой вегетарианец на моето място, например колежката ми Марийка, ако тя беше дошла. Ами ако аз бях вегетарианец? Можех да избълвам нещо като "но карне, йо соно веджетариаано", но какво от това - менюто явно беше избрано предварително, все с месо. Щях да изям две брускети и панцанелата, и да се надявам, че ще има десерт - джелатто без месо :-) И докато с омаяния си, едновременно объркан и отегчен мозък размишлявах за южняшката кухня и неволите на вегетарианците, видях как сервитьорът ме показва на едно младо лъчезарно момиче, което бързо стигна до моята маса, прегърна ме, разцелува ме и каза "здрасти, аз съм ПиДжи" (вече на английски, слава Богу). 

Джиджи ПиДжи
Моето временно бести ПиДжи
ПиДжи се казва Паула Джойа нещо си, италианка е и работи в организацията Hydra в Берлин и е абсолютна джойа да бъдеш около нея - весела, енергична, умна, непринудена, симпатична... Представям се и аз кой съм и откъде съм и спонтанно започваме да се чудим защо точно нас са поканили на тази конференция и какво очакват от нас. Аз само съм чувал за Hydra, и тя ми обяснява, че е по-скоро организация за проституиращи, отколкото против трафика. Аз подхващам обичайния си рант за това как ме дразни анти-проститутското говорене, защото като гей мъж, ми прилича на анти-гей говоренето. Дали като отговор на това "откровение" и ПиДжи решава да ми камаутне и казва, че самата тя проституира, освен дето нали и консултира проституиращи в работата си. Някак си ми става още по-интересна и приятна. През това време носят и на нея плато с антипасти, след това и талиатели с кайма, а аз си сърбам виното, все още в неведение какво още ще ни черпи провинция Арецо, ако изобщо нещо. Споделям това с нея, тя пита сервитьора и разбираме, че ще идва ... второ основно ястие (май се оказа, че пастата се брои за първо основно или нещо такова). Шегува се, че ще яде бързо, за да можем да свършим заедно... Въпреки че ми става много смешно от този коментар, кой знае защо се чувствам и малко некомфортно и отивам да пуша, защото сама сигурно ще свърши по-бързо, хаха (не го казвам де). През остатъка от киантито, телешкото с три бейби морковчета (вече и двамата размишляваме за неволите на вегетарианците в южна Европа) и джелатото, аз съм почти пленен от историите, ПиДжи ми разказва. Дали заради италианската си природа или не, говори много, увлекателно и с чувство за хумор. Не помня конкретния ред на нещата, но до края на вечерта научавам, че е на около 33 години, има PhD отскоро; дисертацията й е била за това как езикът се използва за ограничаване на миграцията и потискане на мигрантите; мнението й за проституцията и връзката й с феминизма, патриархата, сексуалността и джендъра; че е родена в Рим, живяла е в Барселона, Лондон и Утрехт, а сега в Берлин; че е купонясвала цял уикенд в Барселона и от там летяла за Берлин и след това за Флоренция и сега е много гладна и изтощена; че е лесбийка, но когато проституира, го прави с мъже; има за гадже (когото нарича партньор) гей мъж; проституира само когато е в Лондон, защото Берлин е беден град, а и тъй като проституцията в Германия е законна, там е пълно с проститутки, което сваля цената и не си заслужава човек да проституира там... Вътрешно се забавлявам толкова много от тези истории, че за момент ми се прииска аз да съм този гей мъж партньор, за да бъда свидетел на всичко това. Не можех да спра да си мисля колко интересни човешки отношения има в света. Най-нестандартната връзка, която аз познавам май е тройката на Хю, Христо и Крег, която ми изглеждаше почти банална като история, в сравнение с това, което чувах... В хода на вечерта стана дума и за Даниела Данна, която също се оказа, че е лесбийка и се познават с ПиДжи и си ходели на гости в Лондон с гаджетата. Даниела така и не се появи в ресторанта, и ние с моето ново временно бести се прибрахме в хотела. Аз - с водка за 8 евро, която купих от магазин с продавач, който приличаше на румънски ром. 

Борис и Беатриче
Помпозната Сале ди Гранде
На сутринта видях бестито на закуска, но тя бързаше да си довърши презентацията (така е, който купонясва цял уикенд в Барселона). Запознах се с Даниела, обаче, която е по-възрастна, около 45, да речем, по-тиха и сдържана, но много умна жена. В 8.30 дойде Франческа (от организаторите) да ни закара до мястото на конференцията - палацо ди нещо си (понастоящем сградата на общината), в сале ди гранде. Салето и то като хотелската ми стая - гранде и кичозе. Макар да бе обявена за 9ч, конференцията, вероятно по стар италиански обичай, започна към 9.45-10. In the meantime, Франческа ми доведе Beatrice - моята лична преводачка. Макар да ми се представи като Биàтрис и да говореше с приятен британски акцент, аз реших, че всъщност е Беатриче - като любимата на Данте. Беатриче изглеждаше като лелка на средна възраст (въпреки че може да е била и на моята, ох!) и беше също приятна и приказлива жена. За мен беше облекчение да има още един човек, с когото да мога да си говоря на английски и си бърборихме за всякакви глупости докато започна конференцията. Няколко официозни лица откриха - президентът и вице-президентът на провинция Арецо, някой си от регион Тоскана... В думите на всички витаеше известна фрустрация от това, че явно вече няма да има провинции в Италия (поради административна реформа или нещо такова) и не се знае дали ще имат пари да продължат проекта си за трафика, който успешно върви от десет години. Помислих си "Добре дошли в света на НПО-тата"... Мислех си и как тези малки незначителни факти ще ми останат в главата, както само малките, незначителни факти могат... След официалните лица, които се и изнизаха към други задължения, дойде ред на "Борис Джерасимов", като най-виден анти-трафик експерт... Въпреки че и аз съм правил консекутивен превод и знам колко е гадно, когато някой не прави редовни паузи, някак се отплеснах и забравих да правя редовни паузи по време на презентацията си. Беатриче се справяше доста добре, но аз все пак забавих и се нагодихме. Макар че всички говориха по 5-10 минути, аз говорих около 25, вероятно и заради превода, дори към края реших да попретупам, за да остане време за другите. Хора си водиха записки, други ми снимаха презентацията, което приех за добър знак. След мен говориха и ПиДжи, и Франческа, и Даниела и още няколко души и най-сетне свърши конференцията (която продължи само пет часа и не знам защо казвам най-сетне, но вероятно и вие си го мислите вече). 

Via Petrarca
С ПиДжи и Даниела
Така с моите вече две бестита, ПиДжи и Дани, си тръгнахме от конференцията и решихме да се разходим малко из Арецо. Бях питал някого вече какво интересно има в града и ми казаха първо, че филмът на Бенини La Vita e Bella (Животът е хубав) е сниман тук. Май и аз го бях забелязал - рекламираха се туристически маршрути, които обикалят местата, където е сниман филмът. Макар и интересно, като един филолог уж интелектуалец, обаче, бях забелязал и Виа Петрарка и питах дали пък и поетът не е от тук. Потвърдиха ми го и ми указаха как да отида до къщата му - Каса ди Петрарка. Обзе ме странно и познато усещане. Още преди пет години, когато за първи път бях в Италия, имах чувството, че съм роден в малка, незначителна и никому с нищо неизвестна страна. За да не се депресираме, нека добавя, поне в сравнение с Италия. По която и улица да минех, на който и площад да се спрях, бяха все кръстени на имена, които съм чувал. Тогава бях на гости на един познат в малкото, никому неизвестно градче Omegna, на брега на неизвестното езеро Lago D'orta, и се оказа, че там е роден Джани Родари. Приятелят ми се учуди, че знам автора, както и днес приятелките ми се поучудиха, че знам Петрарка. Аз ги уверих, че съм много умен, макар че не знам нито едно заглавие от Петрарка, но не там е въпросът. Как така всеки от нас може да назове поне (поне!) 10 известни италиански автори, художници и музиканти, от Данте и Бокачо до Ерос Рамацоти, а сигурно никой чужденец не може да назове дори един известен българин? :-( Е, ясно е как де - те имали Ренесанс и Сан Ремо, ние - не точно и Златен Орфей..

Макар и леко фрустриран от тези мисли, с беститата обиколихме Арецо за половин-един час и седнахме да пием кафе. Научих още, че Даниела е във връзка, но по принцип не ги изкарва повече от шест месеца - нетипично за лесбийка; че ПиДжи има досадна майка (кой ли няма?), а гаджето (партньорът) й говори осем езика, докато тя самата - само шест... 

Купихме си и по няколко сувенира и беститата трябваше да си заминават, а аз се прибрах в хотела си да пиша този пост...

Всичките ми снимки от Арецо и Флоренция могат да се видят във Фейсбук, дори без регистрация. 

Част 2 - Флоренция (на английски)